Demons
by Stabson
Summary: My take on the end/after episode "Demons". Definately E/O.
1. Chapter 1

"Take a look in back," Ray said.

I turned my head slowly, and my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach when I saw the girl… tied up, gagged, sobbing quietly.

Looking back up at Ray, I saw that smirk… that evil smirk that only a rapist like him could pull off. I nodded, unable to speak. I was in some big fucking trouble.

Shit. Shit, shit, _shit_. This wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't supposed to be a young, innocent girl, it was supposed to be a trained decoy, with Olivia and the guys covering my back.

I swallowed hard, and then remembered Fin's "insurance policy". I just had to wait until the right moment… and grab the gun. But that was easier said than done.

All's I knew was that I couldn't let this girl in the back of the van get hurt. As long as I did that… it was okay.

Ray stopped the van, making me snap back to reality. I got out, and looked around the dark building that we had pulled into, "What is this place?"

"Remember I told you about my uncle that died?" he asked, and my heart dropped a little more when I heard the screeching of the large, garage door closing. No sneaking out of this place. "This is his factory. He used to make machine parts. Give me a hand over here."

This was my chance. I walked to the driver's side door of the van, "Yeah, I'll be right there."

I opened it, and reached toward the radio, but suddenly, I felt his hands on the back of my sweatshirt, pulling me back.

"This is my play. You do as you're told, understand?"

Fuck. I blew it. "Yeah," I said, hoping he didn't hear the weakness in my voice.

He started to walk away, and I closed the door, starting to follow him.

"What'd you do, pick the lock to get in here?" I asked dumbly, trying to calm down.

"Boy, are you a genius," he answered sarcastically.

I opened the back, and tried to ignore the whimpers coming from the girl, knowing that I wouldn't be any good for either of us if I broke down. Throwing her over my shoulder, I turned to Ray, who was laying a dirty old mattress on the floor, "Put her down here."

"What now?" I asked, dropping her.

"You go first," he said, sounding out of breath, looking hungrily at her. I almost puked. Jesus Christ, what the fuck have I gotten myself into?

"Well, you know, you found her," I answered.

I wasn't really thinking anymore… all's I knew was that I couldn't hurt this girl. If he started first… then I could do something, grab the fire extinguisher that I saw on the way in, smash him in the head with it… anything to get him away from her.

"I want to watch."

Watch? Why the fuck did he want to watch? I cursed myself silently. Of course. His goddamn M.O.

"So what's the matter, don't you like her?" Ray asked, obviously sensing my apprehension. What the hell was I, an open book?

Calm down, Stabler. You can get out of this. All's you have to do is think. Pushing aside my fear as much as I could, I answered him, "No, she's good."

"Then what's the hold up?"

I walked closer to him, wrecking my brain for a response, "I can't do this in front of another guy."

Yeah. That's good.

Schenkel gave me a look, and his hand went to my crotch. Yeah. That. Of course. Again, he gave me that rapist smirk, "Performance anxiety. Happens to the best of us."

Yeah, right. More like, I want to blow your fucking head off, but I can't get to my fucking gun.

"I'll give you some privacy since it's your first time."

Privacy? Thank god. This was my chance.

"Thanks," I said, patting him on the back, silently reminding myself that I would have to boil that hand later. Watching him walk away, I unzipped my hoodie, trying to act like as much of a rapist as I could.

When he vanished around the corner, I dropped the act and went to my knees next to the girl, "Listen to me."

My heart nearly broke as I heard her scared whimpers as I touched her.

"I'm a cop," I told her, "I'm a cop. I know you're scared, but you gotta listen to me. You gotta stay calm. You gotta stay calm and listen to me," I slid down the mattress to untapped her legs, and saw a light flicker on above. Ray was standing in the room… I could see him through the glass.

I climbed on top of her, being as gentle as I could, but trying to put on a good show for him. For now.

"I'm gonna rip the tape off of your mouth, and when I do, you gotta scream like I'm hurting you. Do you understand?"

She nodded once.

"Okay, come here," I pulled her close to me, "Come here. Look at me. Now," I dropped my voice to a whisper, "The gate over there, when I tell you to run, I need you to run as fast as you can. Do you understand me?"

She nodded.

" Alright. Okay, you ready?"

I didn't wait. I pulled the tape off her mouth, and she screamed a very real scream. Good girl. Good, good girl.

"That's my boy!" Ray shouted, and I looked up at him, pretending to struggle with her, and gave him a rapist smirk of my own, hoping that it didn't look retarded.

Turning back to her, I prepared myself, "Run."

I ran to the pillar, and pressed the button to open the door. She got up, started to run, and I grabbed her arm as we jumped down to the floor below.

The screeching stopped, the door started to close, and I knew only one of us would make it.

"Come back here!" Ray shouted, and I grabbed the fire extinguisher, spraying it at him. When it ran out, I turned back to the door. She was halfway under… I pushed her the rest of the way, "Go. Go!"

The door closed, and I heard the unmistakable sound of a gun. I jumped about a foot, bringing my hands to my head. Shit.

I was alone now, stuck in here with a psycho with a gun.

"You made a big mistake," he said, running toward me, the gun pointed at my head.

"I'm a cop!" I said, raising my hands.

Ray stopped in his tracks.

"I'm a cop," I repeated, softer this time, "It over, Ray," I said in the strongest voice that I could muster.

"You think it's over just because the girl's gone? It's not over."

I knew that it wasn't over. But she was safe. That's what I wanted. Me, on the other hand… well, I was a different story.

"You and me, we're just getting started," he grabbed the back of my sweatshirt, and I stood slowly, almost feeling the gun pointed at the back of my head, "Walk towards the van."

I did as he told, still feeling his icy grip on my shoulder, "I got backup all over this place, Ray," I bluffed, hoping that somehow, he would actually believe me.

"Oh, yeah? I wonder how they found us."

"One gun against fifty cops, those are bad odds," I tried to reason. I should have known that there was no reasoning with a guy like this.

"I'll take my chances."

He stopped me, and kept the gun pointed at my head as he crouched over to run his hand along the bottom of the van. I lowered my eyes to the floor as he raised the tracking device hidden there.

"You cops are so predictable," he chuckled, walking back to me, "Even if your friends are outside…"

The hand holding the gun went to smash me in the head, and pain exploded through my skull as I fell to the floor.

The last thing I remember hearing was, "It's just you and me in here."

The first two things that I felt when I came to were a pounding headache, and the cool barrel of the gun against my chin, "Wake up, sleepyhead."

My eyes opened slowly, and I saw him… crouching in front of me. My arms were raised, I felt the handcuffs against my wrists.

"Well, let's get this over with," I said, feeling my heart racing in my chest.

I was going to die here. There was nothing that I could do… this man was going to kill me.

Ray sighed, pulling the gun away from my face, "I've always been a great judge of character. So I've been sitting here wondering… how I could have been so wrong about you."

Stop talking… if you're going to do this, just do it.

"Maybe I wasn't. Some of that stuff you said _was_ a pile of crap, but the rest of it… that was no act. I see who you are. You and me… we're brothers under the skin."

I swallowed, thinking that he was just trying to get the best of me… but some part of me was agreeing with him. Back in that group therapy… I realized what a problem I really did have… maybe it wasn't raping women, but it was bad.

"People think sex offenders are different. We're like aliens. Drooling fiends lurking in the bushes. We're just like everybody else. Why are pictures of young girls plastered over billboards? Half-naked, mouths open, legs spread… peddling asses so close. If it didn't turn us on, they wouldn't do it."

"They're only doing what other men dream of," I heard myself saying. It didn't matter anymore. I was going to die, nothing mattered.

"But your dreams are much darker, aren't they?" he answered, bringing the gun closer to my chest. I stared down at it, instead of looking at his face. I couldn't.

"You try to hide the evil inside, but I know it's there. I can smell it."

I swallowed, knowing that he was right. There was no point in denying it. I remembered the shrink's voice… "_You get angrier than most people…" _

Ray pressed the tip of the gun into my chin, but this time, I didn't feel anything. I was numb… Numb to everything except for his words.

"You lured me in. You set me up. You became my friend, and now you're taking me down. I bet you're pretty proud of yourself, aren't you?"

Yeah. Proud. I'm sitting here, handcuffed to the fucking van, about be shot, but I'm real goddamn proud of myself. I fucked up everything… what had I been thinking? I should've grabbed the wheel on the way over here and swerved into a goddamn ditch, kill the both of us.

"But your hands are dirty. You're the one that gave me the van. You egged me on. You wanted me to rape again."

"Don't make this my fault," I said, feeling the gun press deeper into my skin as I spoke, "You grabbed that girl yourself."

"You can tell yourself that if it makes you feel better."

He was going to shoot me anyway… what did it matter what I told myself? I was going to die, with nothing but my guilt, my fear and a gun pressed under my chin.

"But you and I both know that that's a lie. You wanted me to do it," I heard the sound of him cocking the gun, and I closed my eyes. This was it. He was going to do it.

"You're as guilty as I am."

I heard what sounded like the propellers of a chopper, and then Ray, "We've got company."

The pressure of the gun disappeared from my chin, and I opened my eyes, my heart beating a little slower.

Ray ran to the door, and looked out the window. I looked up at the handle to the van that I was handcuffed to, and pulled slightly. It wouldn't be comfortable, but I could get out of it. Pulling harder, I bit my lip as I felt the cuffs dig into my wrists painfully. But still, I pulled.

The bottom of the handle broke off of the van, and I pulled my hands away from it. Glancing at Ray, I walked to the driver's side door, opening it. Air conditioner, audio preset five, left turn signal… the compartment popped open, and I grabbed the gun. No more messing around.

When I looked up, I saw him, walking back towards the van. He raised his gun, and I ducked. The shot hit the glass of the windshield. I sat up, fired, and ducked again. We exchanged shots for a few seconds, until he ducked behind some wooden crates, "I knew you had a gun stashed in there!"

I jumped out of the van, and took cover behind the open door.

"I looked all over that van! You been wanting this to happen all along haven't you? You planned this whole thing! You don't want to arrest me… you want me dead!"

I stayed behind the door as Ray ran to the front of the van.

I walked toward the back of the van, knowing that was he was headed.

"What're you waiting on?"

I kicked the backdoor, and it hit Ray. My foot landed in his gut next, and I punched him both of my handcuffed fists. Red was forming in front of my eyes as my arms went around his neck, choking him. He struggled against me, but he was no match. All's I could think about was him, raping that girl… him, almost killing me.

I kept my arms around his neck, even as his body slackened. I wanted to… I wanted to kill him. Until his words rang in my ears. _"Your dreams are much darker, aren't they?" "You try to hide the evil inside, but I know it's there."_

I relaxed my grip on him, and dragged him to the door. I wasn't going to do it. I wouldn't… no matter how much I wanted to.

"Elliot!" I heard the faint voice of my partner shout through the door.

I pressed the button, and it started to open, "I'm coming out!"

I dragged Ray's limp body about two feet before I dropped him, not wanting to touch him anymore. Olivia was standing there, her gun was drawn, and I saw the worried expression on her face.

"I'm okay," I told her, "He needs a doctor, though."

I walked past her, to one of the officers standing by a cruiser.

He guided me to lean against the car, and pulled out his keys to unlock the cuffs from my wrists. I stared down at the ground, replaying what had just happened through my head over and over.

"El?" Olivia asked softly, moving her hand to touch my shoulder.

I couldn't look up at her. I couldn't let her see me like this… I couldn't bare her trying to comfort me while I felt like the scum of the Earth.

"Let me drive you home," she said, rubbing my shoulder gently.

I sighed, realizing that I couldn't refuse. They were going to take the van, and he didn't feel like sitting next to a grunt for an hour and a half, "Okay."

I felt her hand on my back as we walked to the sedan.

"What happened in there?" Olivia asked gently.

I shook my head, not wanting to talk to her about it. I couldn't. Not with her.

She waited a few minutes, and I thought she had dropped it, but she continued, "You know you can talk to me, El."

"I told you, I'm fine," I snapped, but instantly regretted it. It wasn't her fault my life sucked right now, "I'm sorry, Liv."

"It's okay," she answered, turning back to the road.

I leaned my head against the cool window, and closed my eyes, just realizing how tired I was.

"El," I heard Olivia say she shook my shoulder gently.

"Mmm," I murmured, sitting up straight.

We were sitting in the driveway of my house in Queens… the one that had lay empty for a year… except for me.

"See ya," I said, opening the door.

"Wait," she said softly, and I turned towards her, "You want to talk… you know who call."

I nodded, "Yeah. Thanks."

I walked inside, went to the liquor cabinet, and drank myself into oblivion.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thought this was just going to be a one-shot, but I changed my mind :) Here's the second chapter to Demons :)

* * *

When I opened my eyes, I felt like my skull was cracking open. Jesus Christ, how much did I drink last night? When I sat up, my stomach churned, "Ugh…"  
My body ached from spending the night passed out on the couch… as if I didn't feel bad enough. I stood up, and walked into the bathroom, pulling out the Advil. I was about to raise it to my lips when something rose in my throat. Groaning, I turned to the toilet, and a night of drinking came back up. God, this was the only thing I hated about drinking.

Coughing, I collapsed back against the bathtub, wiping my mouth. My eyelids were heavy… I was suddenly exhausted.

When the doorbell rang, I ignored it. I didn't want to talk to anyone… I just wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. At least then I wouldn't feel like this… like a criminal, a scumbag. The bell rang again, and I brought my knees to my chest, laying my head in my hands.

I sighed angrily when the doorbell rang again. Just leave me the hell alone, please…

When I heard knocking, I couldn't take it anymore. I got up, and my head spun. I never did get to take that Advil.

When I saw Olivia standing in the doorway, I wasn't surprised at all.

"You gonna let me in?" she asked softly.

I stepped aside, going back to sit on the couch, hoping that my head would stop pounding.

"You look like hell," she said, sitting next to me.

I grunted in response, my eyes sliding closed on their own accord. God, I was tired… tired of everything.

"You want to talk?" I heard her ask softly.

"No," I answered, getting up and walking into the bathroom.

She followed me, and watched as I tossed some pills into my mouth. I turned on the faucet, and splashed cool water over my face, hoping that it would make me feel at least a little bit better.

"Elliot, what's going on?" she asked seriously, "Let me help you."

"You can't," I answered, walking out of the bathroom, the pounding in my head refusing to ease.

"Fine. You don't want to talk right now. But I'm going to sit here on this couch until you do," she said, dropping back down onto the couch.

"God, Olivia, can't you just…" I stopped, wincing as my back cracked painfully.

That was it. I couldn't take anymore. My knees went weak, and obviously she knew what was happening, because she stood, wrapping her arm around me to keep me standing.

"Alright, come on," she said, guiding me into the bedroom.

She sat me down on the bed, and I saw that look on her face… the one that I had seen all too often. The one that she got when she talked to the victims.

"Lie down," she said softly.

I hesitated, but did as she asked. She wrapped the blanket around me, and sat on the edge of the mattress, "Get some rest, El."

I just looked at her, silently wondering why she cared so much.

She smiled slightly at me, and as if she had read my thoughts, she said, "You're my best friend. Of course I care about you."

"How'd you know?" I asked quietly.

"We've been partners too long," she answered, moving her hand to touch my forehead, "C'mon. Close your eyes. You're exhausted."

She was right... It was becoming increasingly difficult for me to keep my eyes open. So I closed them. Her hand running through my hair was the last thing I felt before drifting off.

When I opened my eyes, I felt better… physically, anyway.

"Welcome back, sleepyhead," Olivia said kindly from her spot on the chair across the room.

"Mmm," I answered, deciding that I was too comfortable to get up.

I watched as she stood from the chair, and sat on the bed facing me, "You okay?"

I sighed, knowing that she wanted me to talk to her. But I couldn't talk to her about this. I couldn't tell her that I felt like this. "I'm okay."

"Really?" she asked softly, "Cuz I don't think you are."

I turned away from her… I knew that she could see right through me. "Liv, I told you. I'm fine."

"Then how come you almost collapsed on me?" she asked, and I felt her hand brush across my back lightly. God, she was being so nice that my heart broke. I didn't deserve someone like her. She was perfect… the best friend that I had ever had.

"Hello…" Olivia called, bringing me back, "El…?"

"I'm sorry," I whispered, realizing that it wasn't just for spacing out on her. It was for everything.

I felt her squeeze my shoulder gently, "Please look at me, El."

I swallowed, pressing my cheek further into the pillow. I couldn't. I couldn't look at her. She just sat there silently for a second, but then I felt her weight disappear from the mattress. Was she finally giving up on me?

No. She moved around the bed, and sat so that I was facing her, "You drank last night."

It wasn't a question, I noticed. It was a statement. I nodded, knowing that she would catch me if I tried to lie.

"How much?"

"Enough."

"Enough for what?"

"Enough to feel like shit today."

She was silent for a few minutes… leaving me to my own thoughts. I thought about getting drunk again when she left… it had proven to be a welcoming distraction from these crazy emotions that I was feeling. Yes. Once she left, I'd get wasted.

"Elliot… what happened in that warehouse last night?" she asked me softly.

I sighed, looking down. I didn't say a word.

"Please tell me, El," she said gently, "Talking will make you feel better."

Would it? Would talking about this really help? I sighed, sitting up, leaning against the wooden backboard. She moved to sit next to me, and waited for me to speak.

"He borrowed the van," I began finally. Maybe. Maybe if I told her, I'd feel a little better. Or she would leave so I could go out and get wasted. "He told me that it was time for me and him to go out and 'have some fun'. Told me to look in back… I turned around, and there was a girl in back… tied up, gagged…" a cold chill ran down my spine as I remembered her, terrified, crying on the floor.

She squeezed my hand, urging me to go on… so I continued, "All's I could think of, was what the hell was I going to do? I had a girl in back, and a fucking psycho rapist sitting next to me. No backup, no nothing. He drives out to his uncle's old factory, gets out to open the door, and I thought, great, I can get the gun, get the girl and get out of there. But of course, he catches me, you know. Said something about this being his play and doing what he told me to. He pulled out this old mattress. I have no idea where he got it from, told me to put the girl down there…"

I stopped. This is where it started to get tough. I took a few seconds to catch my breath, and slowly, I went on.

"He told me to go first," I started softly, "Said that he wanted to watch. Freak. I told him… told him that I couldn't do it in front of him, just trying to get him out of my face so I could figure out what to do. He went upstairs, and I told the girl what I was, that I was there to help. Took the tape off, told her to run. She made it out, but… I wasn't so lucky. Bastard shot at me. I told him that I was a cop; that I had backup outside. But that never works, right? He walked me over to the van, found the bug under the bumper. He hit me in the head with the gun; I must've passed out because when I woke up, I was handcuffed to the van. He was holding the gun under my chin."

That's where I stopped. I couldn't tell her about what happened after that, what Ray had said, that I believed him. Agreed with him.

"Then what?" she asked softly.

I shook my head, turning away from her. I felt her scoot closer to me, felt her hand on the back of my neck, "What did he say to make you feel like this, El? I know you. I know that all of what you just told me wouldn't leave you this banged up."

She knew me too goddamn well. I couldn't hide anything from her.

"Please," she said softly when I didn't speak, "Just tell me."

"Do you think…?" I began, but stopped when I realized that I couldn't think of the words.

"What?" she asked gently.

I shook my head. "Never mind. Forget it."

"Don't shut me out," Olivia said softly, "What did he say, El? What did he say that you don't want me to hear so badly?"

I brought my knees to my chest, crossing my arms over them, "Liv, please…"

Thinking about it was just making me hurt more. God, why couldn't she just forget about it? Why did she have to do this to me?

"What did he do to you?" she whispered, rubbing my back lightly.

"Nothing," I told her, "Nothing."

She didn't speak, and I was grateful for that. I didn't want to talk anymore.

"The girl from last night," she started, changing the subject, "She wants to see you. To thank you in person for saving her."

I shrugged my shoulders. At least she was okay. At least she didn't get hurt.

"You don't have to talk," I heard her whisper; "You don't have to if you don't want to. But I know that you're hurt. I'm here when you want to, okay?"

I nodded slowly, and leaned back against the pillows, thankful. Thankful that she seemed to let it go. She smiled softly at me before she started to get up. Suddenly, I couldn't bear the thought of her leaving me. I needed her. I grabbed her hand, "Stay…" My cheeks grew warm after I said that, and I knew I was blushing. I had no right to ask her to say. I wouldn't tell her anything, so why should she stay with him?

She smiled, and nodded her head, lowering herself back down on the bed.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I wasn't sure what I was apologizing for… I just felt like I had to.

"For what?" she asked softly.

I shrugged my shoulders, looking down at the mattress. I didn't know what to say. She sighed, and somehow, I felt even worse. She was being so nice to me, and… I shook my head.

"He said that…" I started, feeling the need to tell her now, "What…what do you think, about… me?"

It was a strange question, I knew that. But I needed to know. I needed to know what she thought.

"What do you mean, El?" she asked softly.

I shifted uncomfortably, "Just… that. What do you think about me?"

She hesitated, "I think that you're a good man. And I think that you're being really confusing right now."

I shook my head, unable to look up at her, "I'm not."

"What? You're not being confusing?" she asked gently, and I felt her hand on my back.

I shook my head, "No. Not that. I'm not…" I couldn't finish the sentence.

"You're not a good man?" she asked, "Elliot, why would you say that?"

"I have a temper," I began, not angry at her, but at myself, "I hurt people, I've killed before… I'm getting a divorce, because my wife said that I was angry all the time. What does that sound like to you?" my voice dropped to a whisper unintentionally, "Does that sound like a good man to you?"

Schenkel's words echoed in my mind, the shrink's, and then Gordon Rickett's…

"_What do you know about controlling anything?"_

"_I don't murder people."_

"_Give it time. You say you see something in me? Well, I see something in you, too. You think you control. You can't. You're controlled. By your boss. By your job, by your wife, your kids. What would you be if all those controls went away?"_

"_I'd be you."_

"_When your not in charge, you get angrier than most people."_

"_Stop fighting things you can't change."_

"_You try to hide the evil inside, but I know it's there."_

"_Your dreams are much darker, aren't they?" _

They were all right. Everything they said was true…

"Elliot," Olivia said, bringing me out of my thoughts, "What are you talking about?"

"You know," I answered softly, sitting up, throwing my legs over the side of the bed so I didn't have to look at her, "You know what I'm talking about."

I felt the mattress move from under me, and then she was sitting beside me. "Ray told you that?"

I looked down at the floor, and rubbed my hands together, "He didn't have to."

She got off the bed, and kneeled in front of me, "Elliot, look at me."

I raised my eyes slowly to meet hers, and she rested her hands on my knees, "Listen to me. I don't know exactly what he said to you, but I know that it isn't true."

Her voice was so soft and gentle that it nearly brought tears to my eyes. She really cared about me… what did I do to deserve someone like her in my life?

"He was just trying to get to you. Don't you realize that? He was just thinking of anything that could bring you down."

Well it worked. Good job, Ray.

"You put bad men in jail. You save lives. I don't know why Kathy left you, but it was the biggest mistake of her life, because you're an incredible man. You've only killed in self defense, when there was no other option. What does that sound like to you, Elliot? Does that sound like a bad man? Does that sound like someone who should give a shit about what some rapist thinks?"

"I don't… I don't want to talk anymore," I said quietly. She didn't understand. I couldn't make her understand.

She sighed, moving away from me. I could tell that she was getting aggravated with me. I didn't blame her.

"Okay," she answered, "But just think about what I said, okay? You shouldn't get this worked up over anything that Ray Schenkel said to you. He's a liar and a rapist. Nothing that he says is true."

I nodded slowly, "Yeah. I just… want to be alone."

She sighed, "Are you sure?"

I nodded, "Yeah. I'm sure."

"Alright," she said softly, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then."

And then she was gone. I took a deep breath, and laid back down on the bed. There was nothing else to do; I was already called in sick. So I closed my eyes, and went to sleep.

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A/N: Thanks for reading. Please review and let me know what you think. Also, don't miss the next chapter of Shattered on Sunday :) Hope you enjoyed.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Here's the next chapter of Demons. Sorry it's kind of short, I've been putting most of my energy into Shattered. Please check that out if you haven't already. Enjoy.

* * *

The next morning, I was walking into the precinct, with my usual cup of coffee. Munch and Fin were already there, but there was no sign of Olivia. I couldn't help but be a little thankful… after what happened the day before, I don't think that I could be around her.

"Hey, man," Fin greeted as I sat down at my desk, "You okay?"

Wait… what? Oh, yeah. He was there, too, at the factory. I nodded my head, "I'm fine."

"Schenkel's in interrogation one," he said, and I looked at him, my eyebrows furrowing.

"Why'd you just tell me that?"

Fin shrugged, "You know why."

I swallowed, and nodded silently, getting up from my seat.

My blood started to boil when I saw him through the one-way mirror, sitting at the table. God, I hated that man… when I opened the door, he looked up at me, and I saw an unfamiliar emotion flash through his eyes.

I crossed my arms over my chest, and we sort of stared each other down. He was the first to look away, "So, this is the real Elliot McEvoy."

"Stabler," I corrected gruffly, sitting across from him. I could feel my muscles tense at being so close to this freak.

"Stabler?" he asked, and I swear he poisoned my name just by saying it.

"Yes," I replied, "Detective Stabler."

Schenkel chuckled darkly, "Why are you here, then, Detective Stabler?"

I leaned in close, and spoke lowly, "To let you know that you're going to be in jail for the rest of your miserable life. That good enough a reason for you?"

Ray shook his head, seemingly unfazed by the threat. But I know better. "That's not the only reason you came in here. You want to do something else."

I scowled… fuck him and his ability to read people. I wanted to reach across the table, and wrap my hand around his disgusting, rapist neck. No one would miss the bastard…

"You want to kill me," he said, leaning back, "You didn't two nights ago, but you want to. I can tell."

I swallowed, feeling more anger leak into my system. I should've left then, gotten out of there before I did something that I would regret, but I didn't. There was something keeping me there, preventing me from standing up and leaving the room. Instead, I answered him, "Oh, yeah? Why didn't I do it before, then, huh?"

"You were trying to prove me wrong," Ray said, "But I'm right. You know that I am."

I clenched my fists; I knew that my knuckles were turning white… I was beginning to see red. I couldn't handle this anymore. I stood, ready to walk out, but my body was working against me. I grabbed fistfuls of his shirt, yanking up out of his seat. The chair fell to the ground.

"You want me to?" I demanded, shoving him against the wall, "Huh?"

He didn't answer, just gave me that rapist smirk, and that was it. I punched him in the face. Hard. His face snapped to the side, and I felt a sick sense of pleasure. More red leaked into my vision, and I punched him again, and again, until he was on the ground. But still, I kept going.

Suddenly, there were arms wrapping around me pulling me back. I fought against them, but another set joined the other, pulling me out of the interrogation room.

"Elliot! Damn, man, I didn't tell you to kill him," I heard Fin's voice.

Munch walked out from behind me, and dropped the blinds on the window. I yanked myself from Fin's grasp, moving away from him. My breathing was ragged, there was still rage pulsing through my brain, "You shouldn't have told me he was in there."

"Yeah, well, I didn't know you were gonna do that," he answered.

I couldn't stay in there anymore. If I did, I swore I was going to walk back into that interrogation room and go back to beating the hell out of him. I walked out, past my desk, and rushed up the stairs, I couldn't be around anyone right now.

The crib was silent and dark. I didn't bother flipping the light on, light leaked in through the window. I paced the room, not knowing what to do with myself… god dammit, I couldn't stand this anymore.

He was fucking right. Look at me, I just beat the shit out of him. I clenched my eyes shut, and suddenly, my fist was colliding with the wall. There was a sickening crack, but I didn't care. I couldn't think, I could barely breathe. My other fist connected with the wall, then the first one again.

I felt hands on my shoulders, gently pulling me back. This time, I didn't resist.

"El?" I head, and I knew that it was my partner's voice.

The anger was gone. I don't know how, but it had faded. She turned my body toward her, and I lowered my eyes, unable to look at her face. She lifted my wrist to look at my hand, and I winced slightly when I saw my bleeding, torn up knuckles.

"You wanna talk now?" she asked softly.

I shook my head silently, and she walked me over to one of the beds, sitting me down. I kept my eyes on the floor, as she walked away, and returned with the first aid kit that sat in the corner. I felt the sting of hydrogen peroxide as she dabbed it on, but didn't move away.

There was something comforting about her presence… I felt like I was falling apart, but having her here made it better. I watched silently as she wrapped my hand in gauze, and repeated the process with my other hand.

When she was finished, she put the kit away, and sat down beside me. I felt her hand on my back, "Why are you doing this to yourself, Elliot?"

"Because I deserve it…" I whispered without even thinking.

"What did you say?" she asked, and I could hear the shock in her voice.

I shook my head, feeling my eyes moisten. Jesus Christ, how did I go from being furious and punching the wall, to on the verge of tears?

"Fin told me what happened in the interrogation room," she said quietly, "Please, tell me what's going on so I can help you."

"I woke up with his gun pressed under my chin," I began quietly, "He was gonna kill me. Guess he wanted to torture me first…"

I couldn't do this anymore… I was at my breaking point. I had to tell her. "He told me that he was a good judge of character. But all rapists are like that, right? He knew…" I swallowed, and she began rubbing my back gently, trying to comfort me, I guess, and I continued, softer this time, "During those sessions… that therapist, he wanted to know fucking _everything_."

"That's what therapists are supposed to do, El," she reminded me gently. I shivered slightly. God, I hate therapists. And psychiatrists.

"Yeah, I know. But… I didn't really know what to say, you know? So I just… told the truth. Told him about how… angry I get. Schenkel… he knew that. He knew that I wasn't just making shit up," I swallowed, "He told me that we were 'brothers under the skin'."

All his words came rushing back to me, and I swallowed hard, reciting the lines, "You try to hide the evil inside, but I know it's there. I can smell it," I chuckled darkly, "Who the hell can smell evil?"

"El…" she began, but I stopped her.

"No. Let me… let me finish." I can't stop know that I'd started. I had to tell her everything now. "He told me that I wanted him to do it. That I wanted him to rape again. He told me that my hands were dirty, too," I swallowed, "They are. He almost raped that girl. It's my fault she got hurt like that…"

"Elliot," she said firmly, but gently, "Look at me."

I couldn't. I was too ashamed to bring myself to look up at her.

I felt her hand under my chin, lifting it up to look into her brown eyes. "You are absolutely nothing like Ray Schenkel, Elliot. I can't believe you think that. As for the anger thing… everyone has their flaws. So, you have a temper. That doesn't change the fact that you're an amazing man. You've never killed anyone out of anger, you've never hit a woman, or a child. It's not you fault that Ray grabbed that girl, Elliot. You couldn't have done anything to stop it, and he would've grabbed someone eventually. It was a good thing that you were there to stop him and save her."

She paused to squeeze my shoulder gently, "You could never ever be like him, Elliot. You have a conscience, you have a heart. A golden one, at that. I remember what you were like after you had to shoot Kendal, El, you were devastated for weeks. You could never hurt someone like that for no reason."

"I wanted to kill him," I said hoarsely, "If Munch and Fin hadn't come in, I would've."

"No, you wouldn't," she whispered, "I know that you wouldn't."

I lowered my eyes back to the floor, unbelieving. I wanted so bad to believe her, but somehow, I just couldn't.

She sighed, and I guessed that she knew how I felt. She took my hand, and pulled me to my feet, "C'mon. There's someone I want you to talk to."

I wordlessly followed her downstairs, and she led me into on of the interview rooms. There, sitting at the table, was the young woman that Ray had kidnapped two days ago. She looked up at us, and stood immediately.

"D-Detective Stabler," she said softly.

I pushed my own feelings aside… I knew that this girl was feeling much worse than I was. I smiled reassuringly at her, "Hi."

I was surprised when she wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug, but I hugged her back. "Thank you," she whispered, "For saving me."

"You're welcome." I answered as she stepped away from me, "I'm sorry that you had to go through that."

It made me feel better talking to her… I'd saved her. That was something that Ray Schenkel or anybody else could take away from me… all the lives that I had saved. All the people that I had helped.

"If it weren't for you…" she began, and I could see the tears in her eyes, "He would've…"

"Hey," I said softly, "Nothing happened. You're safe. He's going to jail for what he did to you."

She nodded, wiping her eyes, "Yeah. I know… I just wanted to say thank you."

I felt Olivia's hand on my shoulder, and I gave her one last pat on the shoulder before I walked out with my partner.

"I know that always makes you feel better," she said softly as we walked out into the pit, "So did it work this time?"

I shrugged, moving to lean against the wall, "Yeah. A little."

Olivia moved to rub my shoulder, smiling at me, "That's a start. You want to grab some dinner tonight?"

I nodded, "Yeah. Sure."

The idea of spending more time with her sounded… great. She smiled, "Good."

The door opened suddenly, and Cragen stepped through the doorway, "Stabler. My office, now."

And then he was gone. I sighed heavily, "Time to face the music."

She chuckled softly, patting my back, "You knew it was coming."

"Yeah. I'll talk to you later."

I walked out of the pits, through the bullpen, and into the office. I closed the door behind me, and slowly turned to the captain.

"You want to tell me what the hell you were thinking?" he asked.

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A/N: Uh-oh. How much trouble is Elliot in? And nect chapter, he and Olivia get a little closer ;) Thanks for reading and please drop a review, no matter how short. I love getting the feedback. And like I said before, if you haven't read Shattered, check it out.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hey, guys. Chapter 4 of Demons... What will happen with Cragen? Elliot and Olivia have a 'special' moment. Lol :)

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"You want to tell me what the hell you were thinking?" Cragen asked.

I shrugged, looking down at the floor, "I guess I wasn't."

"Damn right you weren't. I don't even want to imagine what you would have done if Munch and Fin didn't get you the hell out of there."

I shrugged, and he continued, "You're lucky Schenkel's not pressing charges. You could've gotten into some serious trouble."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Cragen stopped, and just looked at me. I knew what he was thinking. I never apologized like that, never admitted that I was wrong. But this time, I knew that I was. I'd let my anger get the best of me, I'd let him provoke me. I shouldn't have gone into that room; I should've just let Munch and Fin take care of it. "I messed up."

"Sit down," he said, gesturing to one of the chairs in front of his desk. I did as he asked, and he sat as well, "What's going on, Elliot?"

I shook my head, looking down at the wood of the desk, "Nothing… I'm fine…"

"Elliot, I know you. You just apologized to me for beating up a perp. You've never done that before. You can tell me what's going on with you."

I sighed, "There's been a lot… going on with me. But I'm working on it. Trying to deal with it."

"That's good, Elliot," the captain said softly, "I want you to take a few days off, alright?"

"Cap…"

"I mean it. I'm not going to give you a hard time about what happened in there, but just do this, okay?"

I sighed, and nodded, "Okay. Thanks, cap'n."

Cragen smiled at me, and motioned to the door, "Yeah. Now get outta here. Take Olivia with you."

I walked out of the office, and smiled slightly when I saw Olivia sitting at her desk. She looked up at me, "What's going on? How much trouble are you in?"

I shrugged, "He made me take a few days off."

"That's it?" she asked, and I could hear the surprise in her voice, "That's all?"

"Yeah. Come on, he let you go, too."

She smiled slightly, "Wow. Great."

I grabbed my coat, and pulled it on, "So… you want to come over to my place?"

I didn't want to be alone just yet… I wanted to be with her.

She smiled, and nodded her head, "Yeah. I was hoping that you'd ask."

I nodded back at her, "Okay. Let's go."

The ride was silent… but it was a comfortable silence, just like it always was with me and Olivia. I was starting to feel a lot better; she was making me feel better.

"How are you feeling, El?" she asked softly halfway through the ride.

I shrugged, "I guess I'm okay."

"That's good," she said softly.

I glanced at her, "You were right," I said, finally realizing.

I knew that I wasn't like Ray Schenkel… talking to that girl had made it all clear to me. If I was, I wouldn't be this terrified. I wouldn't care. I had a temper… I knew that. But I also had a conscience. I hated pedophiles and rapists… they disgusted me. But I couldn't kill without remorse. I couldn't do anything like Ray could. Or like Gordon Rickett could. Or like any other scum that I dealt with everyday. I cared too much.

"Right about what?" she asked, looking at me.

"About everything," I answered, "You were right about everything."

"I know," she stated.

I sighed, "I'm just… I'm just scared, I guess. Everything that Schenkel said, it made so much sense. I thought it was true… I've beaten up perps, almost killed them… I almost killed him. I wanted to."

"But you didn't, El. That's what makes you different. You've never killed anyone that you didn't have too."

"But I could," I told her quietly, "One of them… could just push me over the edge. I guess that's what scares me. I've come close… what if it does happen?"

"It won't, Elliot. I know that it won't," she said softly.

I shook my head, "You can't know that."

"I'm your partner. I know you better than you know yourself, and I know that you're too strong to let that happen. Don't you get that? You almost killed Rickett, remember? But you didn't. You stopped yourself."

"You stopped me," I corrected as I pulled in front of my apartment building.

"You still could have done it," she replied, "All's I did was say your name. You could have shot him. But you didn't."

I sighed, and nodded slowly. She had a good point there… I could have killed him. I could have killed Schenkel, too. But I didn't. Both of them were still alive.

"Come on," she said, opening the door, "Let's go up."

I got out of the truck, and we walked up together. I got us both a beer out of the fridge, and collapsed next to her on the couch.

Sighing, I looked at her, "How do you do it?"

"Do what?" she asked, putting her beer down on the coffee table and turning towards me.

"Make me feel better," I answered, "Whenever something's wrong… you always make me feel better."

She shrugged, smiling softly, "You're my best friend. That's why."

I leaned closer to her, "No… it's something else…"

I didn't know what I was doing… just that I knew that this was what I wanted. Her… I had loved her for a long time, too long to keep holding it in.

She just looked at me, and I couldn't identify what I saw in her eyes. I just knew that I had never seen it before.

Before I knew what I was doing, my hand was touching the smooth, soft skin of her cheek, and I was leaning in… then our lips were together.

I thought that I had died and went to Heaven. Finally, after all these years, we were kissing. Her lips were so soft… it was too incredible to be real. My heart was melting in my chest. She scooted closer to me, I felt her arms wrapping around me… I returned the favor, pulled her closer. My God, this woman was amazing.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, her lips fell away from mine.

"Liv…" I whispered, unable to find words.

"El…" she answered, "That was…"

"Amazing," I finished.

She nodded, "Yeah."

I laughed softly, I couldn't help it. She was so amazing… no one made me feel like she did. Our lips connected again, and I pulled her even closer, so that she was almost on top of me. I couldn't get enough of her.

"Liv…" I whispered as we broke apart for a second time, "I love you."

She smiled, and her hand went to touch my cheek, "I love you, too, El."

I felt butterflies in my stomach, and I was happier than I had even been. She… she loved me. She really did love me.

"You don't know how long I've been waiting for you to say that," I whispered.

"Yes, I do," she answered, "I've been waiting for just as long as you have."

I kissed her again, and nuzzled her nose before leaning back against the arm of the couch, holding her to my chest. I needed to cuddle with her.

She fell asleep first, and the last thing that I remembered was her gorgeous sleeping features. Life couldn't get any better.

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A/N: Aww... they're finally together :) I think that this was probably the last chapter... it was only supposed to be a one-shot, so this is pretty good. Please drop a review and let me know what you think, if I should continue, or just leave it as is.

P.S. I'm taking requests, so if anyone has a suggestion, you can just PM it to me :) I'd love to hear some of the ideas that you guys have. Also, Shattered will be updated on Wednesday, back on schedule.

Thanks.


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